A dispatch from the dark cyberpunk future

[corvi]

Went to the dentist Thursday to get a crown replaced. The dentist waved a 3d scanning wand thing around the tooth gap for a while, then used a Tooth CAD system to design a new crown - he traced the outside circumference of the tooth where it would meet the crown, and then the software suggested a generic bicuspid shape, which he adjusted a bit with push/pull sculpt tools that behaved identically to any other 3D modeling software. Then he sent the file to a machine in the next room, which 3D printed a new tooth for me out of porcelain composite.

The dentist has a TOOTH PRINTER. That printed a TOOTH. That's in my mouth RIGHT NOW. For BITING THINGS.

Finally, we get one of the nice parts of the cyberpunk future: replacement body parts made while you wait. They even let you watch, and I am delighted to announce that like many other things from the cyberpunk future, the tooth printer glows blue for no reason whatsoever.



Now, if only we could get fewer deeply unpleasant dispatches from the cyberpunk future.


(I could get into so much trouble with a tooth printer. So many things need realistic and functional human teeth. Coffee mugs. Teddy bears. Bananas. Precious Moments figurines. Alas, I don't think he'd let me borrow it.)

Comments

[shadaras]

Cyberpunk things always glow blue or red; I'm glad that this Useful Tool glows blue to represent how nice and helpful that technology is!

(also some of those things you could add teeth to would be VERY CREEPY so I'm sort of glad it isn't publicly accessible?)

[wispfox]

Tooth printer!!!

[graydon2]

ABOUT TIME!

[twoeleven]

Now that's a crunchy, chewy cyberpunk future! :)

The violet-blue glow is doubtless a side effect of the UV LEDs used to set the crown's polymer goo. But pretend I didn't say that; the street tells its own stories about things.

[sistawendy]

Damn. You beat me to this.

[maellenkleth]

Rock drills.

[corvi]

AAAAAAA do not put simulated human teeth on rock drills that's terrible. Brilliant, terrifying idea.

[maellenkleth]

Herewith proof of prior art:

https://qjegh.lyellcollection.org/content/qjegh/45/3/252/F129.medium.gif

[jkatkina]

you could go absolutely classic and line a crocheted vagina with em

[corvi]

Can't beat the classics. The contrast between the abstract cartoonish crocheted bits, and the very concrete and realistic porcelain compsite teeth would be especially great.

[kellan_the_tabby]

... on a pussy hat.

I am nonbinary, do not LIKE having that particular body part, & would 5000% wear that hat to protest marches.

[yam]

So many things need realistic and functional human teeth.

Need is sure a word.

[corvi]

Spoken like someone who doesn't want teeth on her banjo picks! :)

[yam]

THAT IS NOT WHAT TOOTHPICK MEANS

[hpapillon]

... i still want to be able to get an actual set of glowing blue teeth.

Not glowing all the time that would probably be distracting. Maybe the glow should only kick in when you bite...

[juli]

I was telling corvi that he should really have pestered his dentist to use coloured stock. It's actually kind of weird that we 420% have the materials required to do that these days and don't, and so only have historical antecedents for teeth being blackened, precious metal, or sometimes some off-tooth colours. Like, somebody needs rainbow teeth. I might need blue teeth. Definitely one red tooth would be an attention-getter! Why do glass eyes get all the fun? I want a tooth with a biohazard symbol on it! Well, not for me, but.

[sistawendy]

You could look like Laurie Anderson.

[artsyhonker]

TEETH! TEETH! TEETH!

[sistawendy]

So many things need realistic and functional human teeth. Coffee mugs. Teddy bears. Bananas. Precious Moments figurines.

This needs to happen. You know you wanna.

[dorchadas]

Finally, a good part of the cyberpunk future!

Kind of want a coat with teeth lining the zipper closure now.

[corvi]

Oh no, what a terrible wonderful idea. :(